Life is unfair sometimes. You meet someone, hit it off and things seem to go smoothly. Then, one day the dreaded break-up happens. Break-ups are difficult. There isn’t a correct way to feel, which can drain your energy and motivation. So how to keep going after a breakup?
For me, break-ups can be difficult for productivity. My mind tends to think about the past spent with that person and the future that won’t happen. My mind thinks about things I could’ve done differently, past mistakes, and things I said. You might be the same and thinking about how to keep going after a breakup.
Firstly, it’s important to know that breakups aren’t always someone’s fault. Relationships sometimes don’t work out and they falter for various reasons. My personal reason why we feel down after breaking up with someone is that the future plans we have with that person, including all of the dreams, desires and plans have now got to be undone. All of the experiences we had with that person now seem like a distant memory, and the confusion that the person we spent happy times with, will now not be a big of our lives anymore.
It is important to know how to keep going after a breakup. The first step is to accept that the relationship is over, and it is a good thing. Try not to dwell on the past too much. Easier said than done. But, in anything in life, it’s not important to dwell on the past too much.
Process
Take time to process. Meditate, journal, speak to friends and family, or even write a song. You will probably be tempted to look at past photos, messages and even their social media profile. Try not to spend large amounts of time doing so, but we are human after all.
Speaking to friends is a great way to get things off your chest. You could speak to a mentor.
Try to speak to your amicably. Sometimes this might be difficult because they will be hurt, and hurt people hurt. So be careful. Try not to get into a shouting match. Be cool.
Also, do not try to contact their friends to relay messages to them
Harness the potential
See this experience as not a setback, but something that can help you move forward. Look at the many pieces of art and music that have been influenced by break-ups. Taylor Swift, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles and Olivia Rodrigo to name but a few. What form of creative outlet can you use to get over someone?
Think about the theme. Will it be aggressive and angry?
Morbid, and sorrowful?
Bluesy?
Whatever the genre, just create. You don’t have to put it out to the world (yet), but at least you helping yourself heal by outputting your feelings and emotions into some form of creativity.
Keep a routine
This is going to be a fresh start for you, so you could try and start a new healthy routine. Start by changing your diet to something healthier. This will be great for your body, and mind and will increase energy levels.
Create a morning routine. This is something that I want to improve on – and I will be writing more about this coming soon. But, essentially keeping a morning and evening routine to do work will keep you focused and disciplined. It will also improve confidence and in time you will spend less time thinking about the person you were with.
Break a routine
Creating healthy routines is great, but perhaps you need to break a routine. It is ok as mentioned to process and reflect on your time with that person you were with. You might even spend more time doing other things other than your creative work. But, eventually, you do need to stop with the bad habits, especially if they are unhealthy, such as drinking and binge eating.
You might find yourself glued to your phone or watching more television. Whilst both can be ok in moderation if they are preventing you from being productive, and are perhaps hindering your mood, then you should stop and find yourself a healthy and creative way to spend your time.
Perhaps going out more and spending time with friends or at social clubs could be a good answer for you.
These are my personal suggestions on what I have done after a breakup. They aren’t easy, and they don’t easier. But, they are normal and they help us learn things about ourselves. Unless you’re a sociopath, you are probably going to be upset, and that is normal. This post isn’t a straight-up relationship or mental health advice, and if you do need help then please seek a professional, but it is honest advice about a subject that has affected me and affects many others.
If you require some help from a breakup, I’d recommend YouTube and also HeadSpace’s site.
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